1) Tell Ed I'm pregnant.
This one he'd believe, but he'd be pretty much unfazed. His response would most likely be "Well, how much do I owe you?" Also: I drank a lot in Jamaica.
2) Tell my parents I'm pregnant.
This one may very well have killed my father. At least hospitalized.
3) Tell my parents Ed and I got married in Jamaica.
Not much of prank so much as a let down. They would be thrilled and they'd get out of buying a gift.
Needless to say, I'm not much of a prankster.